So You're Having Trouble Making Friends

Hey no worries, we've all been there. You're aware that you're totally awesome and fairly normal but you're not sure how to convey that information to other people. That is why I came up with some great ways to get people to understand your greatness! 

1. The first great way to let people know you're awesome is very simple. When asked to introduce yourself along with something interesting, you simply state "My name is ______ and I like to party." If anyone around you laughs more than a polite laugh or in fact chooses the same greeting for them self, you smile and nod their direction. You have just made friends with a kindred Hot Rod fan. If you are NOT a fan of Hot Rod, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS METHOD! You'll ruin the coolness of it. 

2. This next method is also simple but gives you an even better chance at making friends with kindred spirits. You simply bring up your favorite TV shows ASAP. TV habits tell you a lot about people. If they don't watch TV, it means they will not find any of your quotes funny and you may as well stop talking to them now. Unless of course you don't watch TV either (which would explain why you're reading a blog for entertainment...) in which case you two can be happily out of the loop together. If they only watch reality TV, then tell them that stuff is only fun for vacations when you're bored and walk away. If they name off at least three shows they have in common with you, quickly assure them that you are friends and then have an in depth conversation about whether Psych is still as funny as ever or whether it's dropping. If they say that they watch Arrested Development, hug them and inform them you are best friends and you'll be by later to watch old episodes with them. 

I'm telling you people, this is mainly a joke but seriously TV is a huge indicator as to whether you're going to get along great or averagely ok with somebody.

3. Another option is to Facebook friend people you want to get to know. And while it is a perfectly acceptable in this society, I have yet to figure out how to treat those kinds of people. I mean here I am, stalking somebody I just became friends with on Facebook, and then I see them walking by. Is it polite to start a conversation by saying "I see you liked The Office as one of your favorite shows. How do you feel about this new season?" It's perfectly acceptable that I have that information since we're friends on Facebook but is it acceptable to mention to them that I know things about them? Are we all supposed to pretend that we didn't stalk them as soon they accepted the request? I usually try to play it safe and just don't give the person any idea that I know so much about them. But sometimes admitting that you stalked someone gives them the chance to admit they also stalked. And that my friends, is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 

Secret Weapon: If you are feeling that none of these methods have been effective enough, I've got a sure-fire way to let people know you. Pull out that old morph suit you have sitting around and wear it to your ward game of Capture the Flag with some flour bombs. It's genius! Not only does it show everybody that you are random enough to own a morph suit, it also proves that you're smart enough to use any excuse you have to wear it. The best part of the morph suit is that while wearing it, you will be virtually blind which means you can talk to all kinds of people thinking that it's your friend Alyssa when it is very much not her. The only downside is that you will never be aware of just who you were talking to since you're too proud to admit you had no idea who you were talking to and unwilling to ask their name. Also, don't expect the morph suit to help you be great at the game. While it's useful to be able to blend in with the shadows, it's not useful when you can't even right in front of you. It does take the fear out of running into enemy field because as far as you can see, there is absolutely nobody in front of you! Until they are right in front of you and you have to dodge to avoid knocking them over. All in all, people will remember you. So do it. 

If you tried these methods and still haven't made many friends, I'm in the same boat. Others may tell you that you'll have a much easier time making friends if you get to learn about other people or something along those lines... But my advice is to just pull out the morph suit again.